Tales to Love and Hate

I love books.  There.  I said it.  But it's really no surprise now, right?  And I will also admit that I really love mainstream books (as opposed to literary fiction, for example).  I'm not one for non-fiction either, although I have a few that I really like.  But I love to focus on those mainstream stories, which also translates to what I love to watch as well.  So fault me for loving big blockbusters and exciting tales.  I read and go to the movies and watch the TV that takes me away from the ordinary.  That's what it's there for, right?

Anyone who knows me will also know that I really hate romantic comedies, most war movies, and high drama.  Why?  Well let me tell you . . . .

(Before I begin, please note that I understand that there are some exceptions to the things that I will be pointing out -- "but what about such and such movie with so and so in it . . . that one was different" -- blah, blah, blah.  I know, okay.  But stereotypes are out there for a reason, and that is what I'm talking about.)


Romantic comedies:  These movies are a dime-a-dozen.  They all have the same plot, more or less.  One of the things that I hate the most about these movies, though, are they way the women, especially the love-interest, are portrayed.  The female star is usually some obnoxious, overly-talkative, overly-neurotic female that is somehow "tamed" by the male star.  These types of films, no matter what genre, are especially annoying to me.  I often just get mad by the end of the film and wonder, "what does he see in her, really? She is the most irritating person on the planet and for some reason he is totally in love with her.  Oh yeah, she's got a face for movies and a nice rack.  That must be why."  The characters are usually so one-dimensional except for the one very interesting person (usually the female or male star's best friend) that is so overlooked, but I would honestly rather see a movie about them.  Romantic comedies are such a cliche that Saturday Night Live now has a recurring character on Weekend Update dedicated to such characters, entitled The One-dimensional Female Character in a Male-driven Comedy:
Weekend Update: One Dimensional Female | Saturday Night Live - Yahoo Screen

Exception:  Adam Sandler has an uncanny knack for making a good romantic comedy.  He is funny as hell, and is able to disguise many of his films as ROMCOM.  These are the few romcoms that girls may be able to get guys to see, such as The Wedding Singer and Just Go With It (may I also point out that these films veer away from the quirky, neurotic female lead character).







War Movies:  Sorry, guys.  I understand that you love these movies a lot, but I just don't.  It probably ties back to the same reason I hate High Drama (see the next paragraph), because most of these films are about the horrible-ness of war.  But if that is all you've got, then I frankly find it not entertaining because war is not entertaining to me.  It's awful and I don't need to see it portrayed on screen.  I appreciate those who have participated in real war, too much to watch it as entertainment.
Exception:  Historical war portrayals are fascinating, mostly because we as the viewer are so far removed from it.  I'm loving Vikings, Gladiator, Braveheart.


High Drama:  I know this sounds vague, but these are the movies, TV shows, and books that about nothing except FEELINGS.  These movies are the worst of anything.  You know what I'm talking about.  These are the tales about grief, loss, lost-love, longing, hate, desire, blah blah blah.  When the moral of the tale is to explore a feeling, I'm so done!  These stories are so boring that I can't stay entertained.  I know that many of you really like these films (Oscars, I'm looking at you), but I go to the movies and read books to be entertained.  If nothing happens then I am not entertained.  And I'm not talking about the character-finally-comes-to-a-realization kind of something-happening.  That doesn't count.  That is still so utterly boring.  I have a saying:  If the story is "moving/touching, I don't want to be moved/touched."  For example, I love George Clooney (Ocean's Eleven, Oh Brother Where Art Thou:  awesome), but The Descendants was SO boring.  Up in the Air = boring.

I go to the movies, read books, and watch TV to be entertained.  Entertainment, in my opinion, is something that can bring me out of the ordinary and place me in something that is not the mundane, everyday life.  War Movies and especially High Drama are very mundane things that I don't find entertaining but they are too close to real life.  This is why I don't like reality shows!!  (I bet you guys that are trying to defend your love of High Drama are thinking, "but I really like Amish Mafia and Hard Core Pawn", LOL).
Exceptions:  Sorry.  Can't think of any.  I simply hate High Drama and why I don't really read literary fiction.

So what do I love?  Zombies.  Lots of Zombies.  Oh, and aliens, werewolves, vampires, robots, huge explosions, car chases (boat chases fit in this same category), heists, and other shenanigans.  Yes, The Walking Dead has a lot of drama.  That's pretty much the story.  But there are also Zombies.  Lots and Lots of Zombies (sorry.  Lots of Walkers).  Harry Potter is full of coming-of-age drama, but it's also about his magical world and something so very un-ordinary.

If the story you want me to read/watch is a War Movie, I want to see a war between Jedis and The Empire or Vampires and Werewolves.  If it is High Drama, I want it portrayed by Lego people.  If it is a romantic comedy, I would rather see it about a guy who is in love with a zombie girl, because she is so quirky and neurotic (hmm, maybe I should write that story . . .)




Until next time,
"Fear is the path to the dark side.  Fear leads to Anger.  Anger leads to Hate.  Hate leads to suffering." --Yoda